If you are starting this post without having read “What is a Khuya?“, please take a moment and go back to read that first.
Why is this Khuya named “Villain”?
The Villain Khuya is named thusly due to its connection to a certain pain point within you, and your personal lineage. There are aspects of ourselves that cause pain in others, as well as cause pain within ourselves. This is not always a bad thing, but it can seem that way. Each Khuya has a spectrum of attributes that we might, if we are holding judgements, define as being good, or being bad. This is one of the Khuyas that talk to how we interact in our relationships WITH someone else, even if that someone else is you. This name is also offered to us as part of our teaching. We do not decide it, however; as we work with each stone, we learn about it, and we grow. This stone may be a Villain Khuya for me, but it could be a Council Khuya for someone else. The meaning tends to shift for each person it is being asked to speak about.
What specifically does the Villain Khuya do?
The Villain Khuya allows me a place where I can process and review my interactions with others and weigh how my interactions have been, but also how they could be. If I feel as if I have acted the part of the villain in an interaction:
- Was it needed?
- Was there another way I could have handled it?
- Would I change that interaction if I were able?
- What else can I learn from that to apply to the future?
Can I process my villain energy like you can with your Khuya?
Not exactly like I can, but yes. Yes because you ALWAYS have the ability to look into yourself and process your emotions in a healthy way. If you leave an interaction with someone, and you just feel off by it. Take a moment to think about how you acted. Did you act with emotion? If you were not aware of the context of that meeting, and you witnessed it, how would you judge the interaction? What could you have done better? What could you have made more clear? What information did you have that they didn’t? What assumptions did you make? If you can take away assumptions, and aim for clarity, you may find that your valid argument has actually put you in a place of that conversation for which you feel horrible. And if you get to this point, and you feel horrible, a way to process that is to accept responsibility for your part in it. Don’t blame others. Don’t scape-goat your hard feelings onto others. Only think about what you could have done better. This makes gives you power to change this in your future. (It pulls you away from the victim role in from your own emotions.) Then reach out to that person. Apologize and admit to the realizations you have made. You will most-likely not only bring clarity to the conversation, but you will also allow that person to trust you more. The work isn’t easy, but it is powerful.
This process is a tool you can use to help you improve your relationship with those around you. If you feel you have been the Villain, the Victim, the Hero, or even a Jester in a relationship. You can process as above to not only identify the truth of how you are acting in any moment, but how to make sure it is a choice you are making.
What does “spectrum of attributes” look like with the Villain Khuya?
The aspect of the villain is much more complicated than we realize. When we hear the word villain, the impression that comes to mind is that of an evil person that is acting with cruelty and/or taking from others. There is a fair amount of truth in that statement, however; it seems rarely targeted at others. We tend to be the cruel villain … to ourselves.
When we act the villain towards others, it tends to be in the space of ‘tough love’. The “I know this seems cruel, but we need to intercede for your own good.”
If you were to look at the states of a villain (and I can only name a few of many), and compare it to a judgement, you can start to see how it is a spectrum.
Great (Healthy or Mature Villain) – The intention is good, the empathy is clear, and the follow through is present.
“Jimmy, I can see by the receipts on your floor that you have been gambling too much, and it is affecting your family in a horrible way. I am going to take you to get help, and I will stay with you, and make you finish it out. I have your family in mind, and I have their support. You need this help.”
Good – The intention is good, but there is neither empathy, nor follow through.
“Suzanna, I love you, but you really need to stop smoking.”
Questionable – Well, the intention was good.
“Bill, I think you are a drunk, so I am going to go to all the bars and post your picture with your name and Don’t serve this man.”
Bad – Does not generally come off with Good intentions, but may have been the start.
“Mellissa, You are horrible, and maybe if you stopped dressing that way, you would get a raise.”
Horrible (Unhealthy and Immature Villain) – The intention was never in favor of these two. And there was follow through.
“John, Diane, I know you have entrusted me with your life savings, but I have decided I really need a trip to the Bahamas. Good luck.”
It is also important to remember that the “villain” is also a matter of perspective. A quote I enjoy (that is relevant) is: “A war has many hero’s… on both sides.” This quote allows us to step out of our single perspective to see that the villain we fight, is the hero of the another set of people.
When reading the Misa, how does the Villain Khuya read in someone’s life?
The Villain Stone is a single stone that is connected directly to two others. The Victim Stone, and the Hero Stone. It is part of a triad to help you look at the balance you hold between yourself, and anyone with whom you are in relationship.
- When looking to read the villain stone in my Misa, there are several things I look for. First thing is the triad of which it is a part. The Hero, the Villain, and the Victim.
We immediately think “I want to be the hero between the three.” But the truth is, if you are too far toward ANY of the three in that triangle, you are out of balance. You should really aim to be centered in the triangle in each relationship as a starting point, and only change that as an intentional choice in the moment.
- Another aspect to review is where within the Misa it sits. Is it close to the Divine, the Intellect, the Soul, the Healer, Love, Unknown, or your Core? Different areas of the Misa can reflect different aspects of ourselves and our wants.
- I look for it in relation to other stones. With all the options, I can look at the way the energy is moving, or the direction of the Kintu (Prayer Leaves), or even other artifacts in the Misa to derive the correct meaning for that moment. For instance, if the villain stone is between Anger and Love.
- It could be preventing anger from healing with Love
- it could be protecting love from anger
- it could be protecting anger from self-destructing with support of love
- it could be giving anger the space to know it can heal or grow without interference of another stone.
While the meaning may change in a single reading, each stone is essential to the Misa and the reading. There may be times when a specific stone is not really part of the relevant reading, but I cannot fathom the Misa without it.
How did I learn to read the Villain Khuya in my Misa?
This question is both simple, and completely too complicated. As mentioned in the post about what a Khuya is, these stones are part of me. They are also not part of me. There are aspects I use to learn that are very ‘study and learn’ like the meaning of placements, and the meaning of the Khuya, and the Kintu, but there are some piece that really seem to be part of the Khuya speaking to me. Being able to process things like, A part of my that is acting as a villain is sitting in where I store love, and it is held up by victim and addiction. This could lead you to make the assumption that you are a villain because you have fallen victim to your addiction, and it makes you do horrible things. So, I put things down, and I know their meanings, and I trust the information that comes to me. Sometimes the Addiction Khuya feels like it is about Obsession, sometimes the Villain Khuya feels like a Therapy or Council. It is about learning, and trusting.