A large lesson to be learned in doing the South work on this path, is learning boundaries. Ironically, before I even officially started on this path, I was in a class held by Sarenth Odinson called Encountering the Runes. It was amazing! And when he held up a rune in explanation, I felt a sigil etching itself on my face. It felt like a vertical line from the top to bottom of the left side of my face, then two more lines on diagonals creating an arrowhead pointing to the right of my face. I later asked Sarenth what Rune he was holding up, and he said, Thurisaz.
And after speaking with my mentor, Jim, he informed me that a lesser known meaning of Thurisaz is Boundaries, and to hold them.
Now, I have not yet met a lesson along this journey that has been filled with the glee and the wonder of, oh say, learning about how to calculate the inclination of a new star off the plain of the sky… These lessons tend to put you in the hardest possible position, and then apply pressure until you are forced to figure out a way to get out of it. And I find myself asking the question, “Can’t anything be easy!!??”
And when I come to that question, I hear chains of raucous laughter in my own head.
If you were not pushed into the worst possible situation, who is to say you could really learn the lesson. If the spirits doing the teaching were to ‘go easy’ on you, you might walk away thinking you know the answer, and only having scratched the surface. My teachers, and I hope yours too, will not spare me any difficulty, in order to do you the justice you deserve as a true student.
But so much of the South work (Which started on August 16, 2014 and is nearing an end in April 24, 2015), has truly been about balancing compassion, with boundaries. How do you hold compassion for others, while holding firm boundaries and protection around yourself. This has truly been tested, and abused.
I find myself in a situation, where I must hold a boundary hard. And I must hold it to protect me, and my family, from people who we care about, and have no intention of causing harm. Holding a boundary when you can see the pain it causes, and aching because the compassion you must hold must be abated for the sake of that firm boundary. Yet there can be no give, and no wiggle room. This boundary is the limit. And no matter how much I long to act more on my compassion, I have learned that Generosity can be as much of a curse as a blessing.
By allowing your compassion to run without the boundaries, you are draining yourself, and enabling others. Endless generosity breeds darkness, and although not as blatantly hard, it is a more insidious darkness.
Lesson learned. I get it. When can it stop?