All posts by dedybear

What is the Misa?

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I think it is important to note the Quechua is a very interesting language. And over time, it has adapted quite a bit to the Spanish language which is also spoken heavily in Peru.

The proper Quechua word is Misaq’epe. And a rough translation for this is: “the collection of khuyas or power objects given by the teacher or Nature Spirits to the Paq’o (Shaman/Mystic/Priest/Healer/Wiseperson).” The Misaq’epe is a physical extension of the Andean Priests power and is used in almost all ceremonies. This is also stated as Misa for short, or Mesa, which is the Spanish word for table or plain, referring to the flat surface it creates when opened for use.

The Misa is a ceremonial cloth, filled with Khuya, and other pieces relevant to the Paq’o. It can contain almost anything at the Paq’os discretion. But each item in it carries value in the Misa. It serves many purposes. And the least of which is to carry the Khuya and tools. It truly is an extension of the Paq’os power. Through the Misa, I see the Universe around me, and within that universe, I see the truths that exist around us. Even the ones that don’t seem apparent. And even if they are too subtle, or disconnected for me to see, all the truths are there.

I feel like I could look at the layout of my Misa, and the contents, for days straight and never come near finding all of the meanings that it has to tell me. And that is only trying to look for a single person. The Misa can be used for connection to the individual Khuya, or all of them, it can be used to connect to individuals, it can be used to read people/places/things, or do divinations, and it can also be used to change the universe around a person. It is a grave responsibility, and it is a remarkable power.

The Misa, and all it can do, gives me so much to be grateful for on this path. I continue to learn more about myself as it challenges me to be a better person.

Ayni

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Ayni (Eye-knee) is a Quechua word for Sacred Reciprocity. And to be very clear, Reciprocity is not just given and taking of things in equal value.  Sacred reciprocity is about you gifting what you can without expectation of return, and how it gives people a feeling of joy that allows them to feel generosity in their own spirit.

My work as a Paqo is done on the Gift Economy.  Which makes me endless happy for several reasons:

  1. It allows me to use my privilege to assure that those with less do not have to do without my aid.
  2. It allows people to be helped, and if they choose to give a gift in return, it can be something that means a lot to them, and allows their soul to feel that there is an equitable exchange. To elaborate, if I charged $60 an hour for my services, my work becomes transactional, and they value of it ends once the check is written. If I don’t charge, and a person decides that they would like to give me a monetary gift so they can offer me something of value in exchange… The exchange has happened, both people are happy, but there is a remaining feeling of I appreciate you, and I feel slightly indebted to you (in a positive way).  But it also allows for someone to gift me a piece of handmade art. Which has value that our capitalistic market doesn’t recognize.  Handmade art carries the Kawsay (Cow-ss-eye) or life energy of the piece.
  3. It allows people to be helped, and just accept it for the gift it is, and not feel the need to return something.
  4. It honors the wonders of Ayni: which is an essential aspect of all things for a Paqo.
  5. I have also noticed that with the Gift Economy, the transaction doesn’t end. Many of my clients become friends and we build strong relationships ~ which is also an essential aspect of all things for a Paqo.

Ayni is such an essential thing for me personally as well as my work as a Paqo.  I realized today while I was taking a walk around our neighborhood on this lovely Equinox day, that I feel indebted to my mentor, my Ayllu, and the lineage, history, and care of the Q’ero people.

I work hard to hold a balance of Ayni with both my mentor and Ayllu, but I was trying to figure out how I can aid the Q’ero. I was recently turned onto an organization, by a friend Tami, called The Heart Walk Foundation. The goal of this US Non-Profit is to aid the Q’ero people in their lives high in the Mountains.  You can donate to the Q’ero directly through their site, or, you can purchase some of the beautiful hand-woven textiles that carry both: their history, as well as the Kawsay of the people.

Through the Heart Walk Foundation, you can donate to help the lives of Alpaca’s (which are essential to the way of life), Directly to the Education of Children, Health, Food, and Security.

I have spoken directly with a member of the board of this organization, and I fully support what they are doing.

Currently, I support friends who are creating things that matter, I support Black Lives Matter, and I will now start supporting the Heart Walk Foundation in their efforts to help the Q’ero people.

I would ask two things of you:

  1. Consider the power of your money.
  2. If you wish to offer a gift to me, you may do so in submitting your support for either of these two organization.

Heart Walk Foundation
Black Lives Matter

 

 

Summer of Shadows

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I have found that my own shadows are not only what hinder me in my life, but the things that drive me to be better.  By honoring the challenges I have before me, I can do many things.I have found that my own shadows are not only what hinder me in my life, but the things that drive me to be better.  By honoring the challenges I have before me, I can do many things.

  1. (hopefully) work towards getting over behaviors that don’t help me.
  2. Learn more about me, and understand how my history has built me to who I am today ~ no matter how I judge each quality.
  3. They allow me to remember that we are all facing challenges that we may not yet be aware of.
  4. The shadows that I struggle with every day, remind me to hold compassion for those around me.

These are all remarkably powerful things.  

What do I mean when I saw shadow? I see a shadow as any connection to an idea, item, person, or object that causes you to act in a way or make decisions that do not allow you to be your best self, or work in your best interest.

For instance: One of the shadows I am working with right now is Money. I grew up below the poverty line in Traverse City, MI.  We are a town with a pretty solid divide between the haves’ and have nots. My entire adult life I had been trying to buy what I want, when I wanted it because when I was poor, I couldn’t buy things… So, I found that I was buying things, that I couldn’t afford, so I wouldn’t feel poor, but those same actions were causing for it to be difficult to pay my bills, as if I were poor.

A side shot of this I need to address in my work, is the clear judgement I have in my own mind about being poor.  Let me be clear, I do not feel that there is anything wrong with being poor, nor do I feel that it says anything about you as a person ~ as most people do not choose poverty.  The negative connotations I hold with being poor are because the time in my life where I was fighting so hard to just to get by, was of the worst times in my life.  I associate poor with unhappy, and unable.

So to sum that up: Because I associate being poor with being unhappy and unable, I do not wish to feel poor. Because of this, I made choices to purchase things I could not afford.  Having purchased things I could not afford, made it harder to pay my bills, which made me actually poor.

As you can see, this ‘shadow’ around money, has been causing a me to make decisions that were not working in my best interest.

Many of us have issues around money, so this may be a great example, or a horrible example.  You may have a huge issue with money, and look above and be like, I have no problem with “keeping up with the Jones’”.  The thing is, this is an aspect of my Money Shadow that is easy to talk about and many people will understand.  The more you look at one of your shadows, and finding its source, and trying to grow past it, the more you will see that the shadow runs deep and has many facets.

I tell you all of this because I have been working with so many people as of late who are so burdened by the shadows they carry, that moving forward on a day to day basis is feeling impossible.  Whether you are exhausted, peopled out, too damn broke, overdone, pent up, oppressed, or whatever.  These are ALL real and true issues, do not think I am minimizing your struggles.  But we are our own worst enemies, and frequently, the way we think, feel, or experience these issues, make them a larger problem than they are.  Your feeling, thoughts, and experiences are COMPLETELY VALID.  It can still be smaller than it seems.

You are the person who can deal with your shadows.  If you would like, I can help you to see them.  Know that I can hear you. I can hear your work, and your pain.  And because I have been working so hard on my own shadows, I will not judge you or yours.

We all need help sometimes, don’t hesitate to reach out.

Victim Khuya

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If you are starting this post without having read “What is a Khuya?“, please take a moment and go back to read that first.

Why is this Khuya named “Victim”?
The Victim Khuya is named thusly due to its connection to a certain pain point within you. We have all experienced times where we were a victim (for better or worse) or we have made someone a victim.  This stone is connected to a part of you that allows you to recall those moments, feel those feelings, and re-experience those experiences.

What does the Victim Khuya do?
Each Khuya does MANY things for me.

The Victim Khuya offers me a place where I can process and review my experiences with victimization, so that I may be aware of my actions, and both the short and long term effects of those actions to yourself and those around you. When I am connected to this place, I can think about my actions and decide if they were appropriate.  It allows me to learn from these experiences so I can identify when I am speaking to someone else’s victim feelings and putting them in the place to experience that weight.  It can help me to identify when someone else is acting in a way that speaks to my victim feeling and putting me in the place to experience that weight.  And when you can identify a situation, you can control your response and reaction.  It gives you the opportunity to take power in those situations.

Can I process my experiences with the victim energy like you can with your Khuya?
Not exactly like I can, but yes. Yes because you ALWAYS have the ability to look into yourself and process your emotions and experiences in a healthy way.  You can always look into your past behavior and learn from it so that you may improve your future.  You can always make the choice to be a better person.  But the harder question is really, are you able to look into your past to experience the pain around victimization with the willingness to find some responsibility in yourself that you can take?  As a side note: Please note that I never say “take responsibility” meaning “take the blame”.  Blame puts people down and limits growth, responsibility is a way to view a situation, and find places that you actually have power, allows you to see that growth, and take advantage of it.

What does “spectrum of attributes” look like with the Victim Khuya?
There are really 3 directions that I know of.  There is when you are being a victim, when you are making someone else a victim, and when you are witnessing someone else being made a victim.  And each of these can be represented in 2 ways.

Immature Victim
Wallowing in self-pity
When you allow yourself to be the immature victim, you fall into a place where you not only cannot see a way out of your hard place, but you can also find amazing and creative ways to limit your own ability to escape.  This will then perpetuate your inability to break free.  This is the perpetual spiral I had to battle with depression.  The fight is very real.

Mature Victim
Harbinger of change
The victim state is NOT a bad thing, it is a thing.  Judgement can turn it any way you want.  But here is where the victim in ourselves can be a powerful thing.  Being in the victim state, allows you to protect yourself in the scariest storms, whole you build up the power to break free.

When reading the Misa, how does the Victim Khuya read in someone’s life?
The Victim Khuya is a single Khuya that is connected directly to two others. The Villain Khuya, and the Hero Khuya. It is part of a triad to help you look at the balance you hold between yourself, and anyone with whom you are in  relationship.

Balance triad

Once again, there are many ways this can be read, and sometimes it is just a feeling that I get that really has almost NO connection to what I see. But I will list a few things I look for:

  1. When looking to read the Victim stone in my Misa, there are several things I look for. First thing is the triad of which it is a part. The Hero, the Villain, and the Victim.We immediately think “I want to be the hero between the three.” But the truth is, if you are too far toward ANY of the three in that triangle, you are out of balance. You should really aim to be centered in the triangle in each relationship as a starting point, and only change that as an intentional choice in the moment.
  2. Another aspect to review is where within the Misa it sits. Is it close to the Divine, the Intellect, the Soul, the Healer, Love, Unknown, or your Core? Different areas of the Misa can reflect different aspects of ourselves and our wants.
  3. I look for it in relation to other stones. With all the options, I can look at the way the energy is moving, or the direction of the Kintu (Prayer Leaves), or even other artifacts in the Misa to derive the correct meaning for that moment. For instance, if the victim stone is between Anger and Love.
    1. It could be that the anger is weak and it is overcome by love
    2. It could be that the anger is strong and creating a victim in the lover
    3. It could be that You are feeling like you cannot love because you are beaten down by your anger, and your victim is protecting you while you get ready to stand up and fight.

While the meaning may change in a single reading, each stone is essential to the Misa and the reading. There may be times when a specific stone is not really part of the relevant reading, but I cannot fathom the Misa without it.

How did I learn to read the Victim Khuya in my Misa?
This question is both simple, and completely too complicated. As mentioned in the post about what a Khuya is, these stones are part of me. They are also not part of me. There are aspects I use to learn that are very ‘study and learn’ like the meaning of placements, and the meaning of the Khuya, and the Kintu, but there are some piece that really seem to be part of the Khuya speaking to me. Being able to process things like, which is getting in the way of me bring my best self.  Why does this come up whenever I review something that is unknown.  It allows me to see change in progress. So, I put things down, and I know their meanings, and I trust the information that comes to me.

Anger Khuya

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If you are starting this post without having read “What is a Khuya?”, please take a moment and go back to read that first.

Why is this Khuya named “Anger”?
The Anger Khuya is named thusly due to its connection to a certain pain point within you. As a human, you have experienced anger. You have felt it in you, and targeted at you. You have developed all sorts of feelings about it. Some people like to feel anger because it makes them feel powerful. Some people fear their anger because they are afraid of hurting people if they lose their temper. Each Khuya has a spectrum of attributes that we might, if we are holding judgements, define as being good, or being bad. This is one of the Khuyas that speaks directly to a feeling within a person, and how it reaches out into that person’s life. This name is also offered to us as part of our teaching. We do not decide it, however; as we work with each Khuya, we learn about it, and we grow. This Khuya may be an Anger Khuya for me, but it could be a Passion Khuya for someone else. The meaning tends to shift for each person it is being asked to speak about.

What specifically does the Anger Khuya do?
The Anger Khuya offers me a place where I can process and review my anger, and related feelings and how I have interacted with them, but also how it could be. If I feel I have acted in Anger:

  1. Why?
  2. Was it needed?
  3. Was there another way I could have handled it?
  4. Would I change that interaction if I were able?
  5. What else can I learn from that to apply to the future?
  6. What does the spike of this emotion tell me about myself?
  7. What judgements have I made?
  8. What expectations have I not communicated that are not being met?

Can I process my anger energy like you can with your Khuya?
Not exactly like I can, but yes. Yes, because you ALWAYS have the ability to look into yourself and process your emotions in a healthy way. If you have encountered a place where you felt anger, were you alone? If you leave an interaction with someone, and you just feel off by it. Take a moment to think about how you acted. Did you act with emotion? If you were not aware of the context of that meeting, and you witnessed it, how would you judge the interaction? What could you have done better? What could you have made more clear? What information did you have that they didn’t? What assumptions did you make? If you can take away assumptions, and aim for clarity, you may find that your valid argument has actually put you in a place of that conversation for which you feel horrible. And if you get to this point, and you feel horrible, a way to process that is to accept responsibility for your part in it. Don’t blame others. Don’t scape-goat your hard feelings onto others. Don’t project your feelings onto others. Only think about what you could have done better. This gives you power to change this in your future. (It pulls you away from the victim role in from your own emotions.) Then reach out to that person. Apologize and admit to the realizations you have made. You will most-likely not only bring clarity to the conversation, but you will also allow that person to trust you more. The work isn’t easy, but it is powerful.

This process is a tool you can use to help you improve your relationship with those around you. If you feel as if you have ever been angry with someone. You can process as above to not only identify the truth of how you are acting in any moment, but how to make sure it is a choice you are making.

What does “spectrum of attributes” look like with the Anger Khuya?
As with all emotions, Anger is more complicated than we ever care to think of. When I think about Anger, I instantly seize up in fear. When I was seven, I had some pretty severe trauma that caused me to learn that when I got angry, I blacked out and hurt people. This happened once in high school to. And from the moment it happened, at age seven, I feared my anger. I was using the Martial arts to teach me how to deal with my anger, how to manage it, but that same training actually put me in an even greater state of fear around my anger, when it did break through. I was extremely efficient at hurting people now. What if it was ever turned loose without my awareness? What if I could never truly control my anger.

It wasn’t until my most recent teaching, that I really acknowledged the level of hurt I offered my Anger Khuya, but having an attitude around anger that was not just a negative opinion, but so afraid of this aspect in myself as to not even take time to understand my anger. I have been doing some serious work in the last couple weeks to understand more about anger in general, but in doing so, my goal is to understand MY anger.

I will break down some of the things I learned about anger in general, but the essential part for me in this work, has been to see that I have nothing to fear from my anger. Anger, like every emotion, is a healthy emotion. What I can now see that I have been actually fearing, is that I am a highly trained Martial Artist, and in the past (triggered by anger and self-defense) I have blacked out and really hurt people. But that truly was in self defense, and angry or no, I would not have harmed those people if I didn’t feel threatened. And that is it. I said it, and I saw it. My fear has never actually been about my anger. And I can feel it now, and at worst be a little curt. But, I will not harm someone unless I intend to do so, and other than someone attempting to harm my family, I can see no reason that I would want to. My fear is no longer a healthy fear. I have realized that I am good person. And I look forward to experiencing the various forms of anger knowing that my family can understand if I say, “Wow, I am feeling extremely angry about this, I need to go step away for a bit.”

Let me explain to you a bit about anger. – Side note: I am grateful to my MKP iGroup for giving my so much helpful information when I asked for advice.

Angry
The emotion as it stands, with no judgement about it. Experiencing strong emotions of Anger. Being Angry is acceptable. Feel your fucking feelings.

Frustration
I would consider this a low grade anger. Very similar to annoyance, however, this tends to be in regards to an inability to achieve or change something.

Irritation
I would also consider this a low grade anger. Showing or feeling slightly annoyed.

Immature Anger – Rage
Anger when uncontrolled can cause you to, or you allow yourself to, by overtaken by the powerful feeling of anger. And that allows you to bring yourself to a point where you destroy things around you, relationships as well as things.

Mature Anger – Harbinger of change
When you are truly angry about something or at someone, taking the time to realize that the target of your anger is most often NOT what you think it is. It is often something that is underlying what you see. And if you can see your anger, and acknowledge this piece, you can turn your anger into fuel to help you change what you see as the problem. It gives you the motivation to change the situation around you and improve things. It can also allow you to see aspects of yourself that you many know you were carrying. Anger can allow you to learn more about yourself, and perpetuate growth.

When Reading the Misa, how does the Anger Khuya read in someone’s life?
It is important that we look at each Khuya without judgement. We carry our bias about our emotions, and experiences. Which is good, which is bad, and so forth. But Anger is one that I had considered bad until very recently. When I realized that my interpretation, judgement and mental connections to anger were not actually connected to a healthy aspect of anger. So, when looking at this stone in the Misa, I must consider if this stone is holding the energy of the mature, or immature state of the stone. Or if it even represents anger in the reading to the person for whom the reading is taking place.

How did I learn to read the Anger Khuya in my Misa?
This question is both simple, and completely too complicated. As mentioned in the post about what a Khuya is, these stones are part of me. They are also not part of me. There are aspects I use to learn that are very ‘study and learn’ like the meaning of placements, and the meaning of the Khuya, and the Kintu, but there are some piece that really seem to be part of the Khuya speaking to me. Being able to process things like, which is getting in the way of me bring my best self. Why does this come up whenever I review something that is unknown. It allows me to see change in progress. So, I put things down, and I know their meanings, and I trust the information that comes to me.

Tree (Roots) Meditation

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This meditation does many wonderful things for you. It allows you to connect to Pachamama (Mother Earth). It allows you to share and moderate energy with her. It allows you to ground your energy. It also allows you to give you some solidness in yourself. So many great pieces, I just wanted to share the “how-to”.

Sit down as you do to meditate. Please remember to do this in a space where you feel safe so that you can allow your awareness of your surroundings to drop. You do not have to sit on the floor. If you are unable to sit on the floor, sit how you can be comfortable for a while. I personally feel better about sitting directly on the floor ~ Just do not let that slow you down.

Once sitting, Take a moment, and ask consent of the Pachamama to share energy with her. (I have never gotten a No, but I think considering consent is always a good thing)
After establishing consent, Imagine a bubble of energy in your heart.
And focus on your breathing.
Every breath in, inflates that bubble.
Once you have inflated that bubble enough that it completely surrounds you, take a moment and simply breath normally.
Now that you are sitting inside this bubble, I want you to change the focus of your breaths.
Every breath in, we will create roots.

Creating Roots.
With your first breath in, I want you to imagine that the energy from your breath inward is forcing roots to appear at the base of your spine, and growing into the Earth.
With every consecutive breath in, I want you to imagine that the energy from your breath is growing those roots downward.
Deeper, and Deeper.
Imagine the feeling of the dirt, the sand, the stones, the sediment.
Imagine the different layers of the Earth.
Imagine that your roots go so deep as to hit the molten rock at the center of the Earth.
And once your roots find that, use your next breath to push your roots into it.

Every breath out, we will draw energy from the Pachamama through those roots, and blow that energy into your bubble.

After you have been doing this long enough, that you feel your roots have reached the core of the Earth, and your bubble is as full of Pachamama’s energy as you can take, make it so that every breath in takes air and energy from your bubble, and pushes it down your roots to the core of the earth. And also have every breath out takes energy from the Earth, and pushes it into your bubble.

When you feel that you are done with this meditation, use your breath to withdraw the roots from the soil. Use your breath to reduce the size of your bubble, and put it back into your heart.

Sit for a moment and feel your body before you stand.

Good luck!

Villain Khuya (Revisited)

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If you are starting this post without having read “What is a Khuya?“, please take a moment and go back to read that first.

Why is this Khuya named “Villain”?
The Villain Khuya is named thusly due to its connection to a certain pain point within you, and your personal lineage. There are aspects of ourselves that cause pain in others, as well as cause pain within ourselves. This is not always a bad thing, but it can seem that way. Each Khuya has a spectrum of attributes that we might, if we are holding judgements, define as being good, or being bad. This is one of the Khuyas that talk to how we interact in our relationships WITH someone else, even if that someone else is you. This name is also offered to us as part of our teaching. We do not decide it, however; as we work with each stone, we learn about it, and we grow. This stone may be a Villain Khuya for me, but it could be a Council Khuya for someone else. The meaning tends to shift for each person it is being asked to speak about.

What specifically does the Villain Khuya do?
The Villain Khuya allows me a place where I can process and review my interactions with others and weigh how my interactions have been, but also how they could be. If I feel as if I have acted the part of the villain in an interaction:

  1. Why?
  2. Was it needed?
  3. Was there another way I could have handled it?
  4. Would I change that interaction if I were able?
  5. What else can I learn from that to apply to the future?

Can I process my villain energy like you can with your Khuya?
Not exactly like I can, but yes. Yes because you ALWAYS have the ability to look into yourself and process your emotions in a healthy way. If you leave an interaction with someone, and you just feel off by it. Take a moment to think about how you acted. Did you act with emotion? If you were not aware of the context of that meeting, and you witnessed it, how would you judge the interaction? What could you have done better? What could you have made more clear? What information did you have that they didn’t? What assumptions did you make? If you can take away assumptions, and aim for clarity, you may find that your valid argument has actually put you in a place of that conversation for which you feel horrible. And if you get to this point, and you feel horrible, a way to process that is to accept responsibility for your part in it. Don’t blame others. Don’t scape-goat your hard feelings onto others. Only think about what you could have done better. This makes gives you power to change this in your future. (It pulls you away from the victim role in from your own emotions.) Then reach out to that person. Apologize and admit to the realizations you have made. You will most-likely not only bring clarity to the conversation, but you will also allow that person to trust you more. The work isn’t easy, but it is powerful.

This process is a tool you can use to help you improve your relationship with those around you. If you feel you have been the Villain, the Victim, the Hero, or even a Jester in a relationship. You can process as above to not only identify the truth of how you are acting in any moment, but how to make sure it is a choice you are making.

What does “spectrum of attributes” look like with the Villain Khuya?
The aspect of the villain is much more complicated than we realize. When we hear the word villain, the impression that comes to mind is that of an evil person that is acting with cruelty and/or taking from others. There is a fair amount of truth in that statement, however; it seems rarely targeted at others. We tend to be the cruel villain … to ourselves.

When we act the villain towards others, it tends to be in the space of ‘tough love’. The “I know this seems cruel, but we need to intercede for your own good.”

If you were to look at the states of a villain (and I can only name a few of many), and compare it to a judgement, you can start to see how it is a spectrum.

Great (Healthy or Mature Villain) – The intention is good, the empathy is clear, and the follow through is present.
“Jimmy, I can see by the receipts on your floor that you have been gambling too much, and it is affecting your family in a horrible way. I am going to take you to get help, and I will stay with you, and make you finish it out. I have your family in mind, and I have their support. You need this help.”

Good – The intention is good, but there is neither empathy, nor follow through.
“Suzanna, I love you, but you really need to stop smoking.”

Questionable – Well, the intention was good.
“Bill, I think you are a drunk, so I am going to go to all the bars and post your picture with your name and Don’t serve this man.”

Bad – Does not generally come off with Good intentions, but may have been the start.
“Mellissa, You are horrible, and maybe if you stopped dressing that way, you would get a raise.”

Horrible (Unhealthy and Immature Villain) – The intention was never in favor of these two. And there was follow through.
“John, Diane, I know you have entrusted me with your life savings, but I have decided I really need a trip to the Bahamas. Good luck.”

It is also important to remember that the “villain” is also a matter of perspective. A quote I enjoy (that is relevant) is: “A war has many hero’s… on both sides.” This quote allows us to step out of our single perspective to see that the villain we fight, is the hero of the another set of people.

When reading the Misa, how does the Villain Khuya read in someone’s life?

The Villain Stone is a single stone that is connected directly to two others. The Victim Stone, and the Hero Stone. It is part of a triad to help you look at the balance you hold between yourself, and anyone with whom you are in relationship.

Balance triad
Once again, there are many ways this can be read, and sometimes it is just a feeling that I get that really has almost NO connection to what I see. But I will list a few things I look for:

  1. When looking to read the villain stone in my Misa, there are several things I look for. First thing is the triad of which it is a part. The Hero, the Villain, and the Victim.
    We immediately think “I want to be the hero between the three.” But the truth is, if you are too far toward ANY of the three in that triangle, you are out of balance. You should really aim to be centered in the triangle in each relationship as a starting point, and only change that as an intentional choice in the moment.
  2. Another aspect to review is where within the Misa it sits. Is it close to the Divine, the Intellect, the Soul, the Healer, Love, Unknown, or your Core? Different areas of the Misa can reflect different aspects of ourselves and our wants.
  3. I look for it in relation to other stones. With all the options, I can look at the way the energy is moving, or the direction of the Kintu (Prayer Leaves), or even other artifacts in the Misa to derive the correct meaning for that moment. For instance, if the villain stone is between Anger and Love.
    1. It could be preventing anger from healing with Love
    2. it could be protecting love from anger
    3. it could be protecting anger from self-destructing with support of love
    4. it could be giving anger the space to know it can heal or grow without interference of another stone.

While the meaning may change in a single reading, each stone is essential to the Misa and the reading. There may be times when a specific stone is not really part of the relevant reading, but I cannot fathom the Misa without it.

How did I learn to read the Villain Khuya in my Misa?
This question is both simple, and completely too complicated. As mentioned in the post about what a Khuya is, these stones are part of me. They are also not part of me. There are aspects I use to learn that are very ‘study and learn’ like the meaning of placements, and the meaning of the Khuya, and the Kintu, but there are some piece that really seem to be part of the Khuya speaking to me. Being able to process things like, A part of my that is acting as a villain is sitting in where I store love, and it is held up by victim and addiction. This could lead you to make the assumption that you are a villain because you have fallen victim to your addiction, and it makes you do horrible things. So, I put things down, and I know their meanings, and I trust the information that comes to me. Sometimes the Addiction Khuya feels like it is about Obsession, sometimes the Villain Khuya feels like a Therapy or Council. It is about learning, and trusting.

What is a Khuya?

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After several failed attempts, I have learned that writing about my Khuya is one of the more difficult things I have had to write. However, being able to articulate anything about them would be helpful – so I will try. (A random note, It is made all the more intimidating by the fact that I currently have 13 Khuya.)

A Khuya is a stone that carries abundant kawsay (life energy) and is considered a stone of power and a living being. It is used for healing, processing heavy energy, aiding the Paq’o in learning more about themselves, and communicating with the spirit world. The word itself means love or affection, but is also interpreted as Awakened Stone. Khuyas are at the heart of the Misa. The Misa is at the heart of my ability to be a Paq’o. A Misa (Short for Misaq’epe in Quechua) is roughly equivalent to our current understanding of a Medicine Bundle.

Each Khuya is connected to the Shaman, yet is the sheer essence of a feeling or a role the Shaman carries. It can also hold the essence of something tied to yet distinct from the Shaman. It’s essence makes it unique in the Misa, and in the world. Even if another Paq’o has an Anger Khuya, mine is unique because it was created with an aspect of me.

Magically, Khuya are unique in what they are.  Most magical items, are either magical because they are controlled by a persons’ magic, or because they have their own consciousness and power.  Khuya are the only items, I am aware of, that are both.  They are connected to the Paq’o, yet have their own consciousness.

Every Khuya does several things to help the Paq’o. (Here are the general bits, each post will elaborate further)

  1. Every Khuya is like an aspect of me dedicated to processing and cleaning up heavy feelings related to the individual stone. Hucha is the word for Heavy Energy. Stuff that is too difficult or scary for me to process in my every day. Sami is the word for Light Energy. Stuff that is easily processed and built upon. Each Khuya can work as a friend who helps you process your hard feelings, and returns your efforts with Sami.
  2. Each Khuya allows me a place where I can process and review my interactions with a specific emotion, experience, or memory.
  3. It gives me a view of each aspect in myself or others, that I can use in a reading with my Misa. (Like a Divination type reading)

Having these Khuya give me a unique set of abilities in regards to processing energy. Khuya are a remarkable part of this lineage, and a person without Khuya will never be able to process as much energy as you could with them. Imagine having over a dozen employees that can help you do the work of your every day… They are invaluable.

Writing this post was in someways an afterthought, but it became essential when I realized that I would have to write this description at the top of every post where I described an individual Khuya.

 

Khuya Posts:

Tower of Babel

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For those of you who have not heard this story, I will give you the briefest possible explanation.

Towards the beginning of mankind, mankind got overly proud of their own prowess and decided to build a tower to the heavens to meet God. After they reached a point that was higher than God was comfortable with, he stopped them, destroyed the building, and created hundreds of different languages for the people to speak, so they wouldn’t be able communicate with one another to rebuild it.

I have often heard this story and frequently could only hear the scientific improbabilities. And this exact thing points to the issues I created, in trying to not hear what people said about God. Looking back, I see that my goal in doing so was to NOT hear them. It was not to point out science. It actually gives a poor name to both science and faith.

If I were to alter my goal in that argument to line up with my interests, hear them, and speak truths I see in their faith, so that we can all work together, the story looks a bit different.

Let us start with the idea that this whole interaction is true. I find that no matter what faith you are in, while you don’t have to believe in the other person’s faith, it is important to know that their faith is true for them. With that, I see the story above as being very different.

It seems to me that in order for us to make sense of things, we personify everything. So, while we might have been made in God’s image, I doubt Ze* has our pettiness, frivolousness, or ignorance. What if Ze destroyed the tower and created the different languages, not to STOP people from meeting Hir* face to face, but so that we CAN meet Hir face to face.

The reality, is that God is all around us. No matter how you label Hir. God is in the air, the plants, the trees, and all the beings. What if this tower was prevented because people were under the misconception that you needed to build some remarkable tower to meet Hir. And by destroying that tower, and preventing the communication to recreate it, maybe God was reigning us back in from a humongous Red Herring? What if Ze was both, redirecting us to a helpful place, but also making ‘God’ accessible to everyone, including those who could NOT build a tower.

Food for thought.

*Ze and Hir are gender neutral ways to identify She/He and Him/Her

Reality in love

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Faith is essential to your path.  Whether it is faith in yourself, or a partner, or a deity.  It is essential. But where does it cross a line?  When your faith pushes past your sense of personal responsibility, it has all of the sudden tipped the balance, and is no longer a positive driving force.  It becomes your shackles.

Let me give you an example of a real situation of the statement above.

A friend of mine was in a great relationship, and it seemed that everything was great.  And then her partner got laid-off. He quickly became very accustomed to having her pay for everything, and he didn’t seem super motivated to get a new job.  Despite the financial struggles they were starting to have, he was holding out for his dream job.  And after asking about how they are doing, they said, we are having some hardship, but God will provide when it is right.

I frequently hear “God will provide” when people are struggling.  It is intended to sound empowering, but I see that people give up their power to act, and allows “fate” to decide.  You have put your faith so strongly into this, that you have taken away your own ability to assure that it happens. And worse yet, when things come and pass, and you did not get what you wanted, you start to think you were not worthy of it, or worth it.  Which allows you to mentally give up. Making your faith, your shackles. God may be providing 5 great job opportunities for you right now, because he feels you need to get into a different field, but they were not even reviewed because they didn’t fit the mold of the “dream job”.

A great quote from Dave Ramsey was this, “God DOES provide, he provides the rain.  But you still have to sow the seeds!” This statement is exactly how I feel.  Your faith will provide you what you need, but you still have to work to get what you want.  Noting that, as a culture, have a hard time telling the difference between our wants and needs.

I have recently started taking note of conversations and interactions around finance, and I have heard many conversations about faith, people, and money. And when you put these three things together, our minds really complicate them, and that is why I thought to write this post.  No matter the circumstance, don’t let your faith become your shackles.  Take responsibility for your actions and thoughts, and act.  Once again, I can give you an example:

During a podcast I was listening to, a woman called in and stated that she was considering getting engaged to someone, but he made half as much as he did, and he was not very invested in actually managing his money responsibly.

From my experience, this is a very common issue.  One partner doesn’t see the same value in one thing or another, and money is frequently that thing.

Take a moment to think about what you would do in this situation.

No really, take a moment and think.

Many people would be shocked that the concern was even there, after all, Love will find a way.  But can I tell you what I feel the “right” answer is?  And note, there are a multitude of situations around everything, so my advice must be somewhat generalized.

Love, is a strong and complicated emotion.  And it can often make you not trustworthy to yourself.  I would recommend in this situation that you step back, identify the real concern, which is that you are concerned that your potential partner doesn’t know or care how to handle money properly.  And you are considering marriage.  Which means that your partner will not care about how your finances will be managed together.  This is a bad idea.

You need to take responsibility for yourself.  How do you remain a strong individual?  I know that sounds unromantic, but think about it.  How do you remain a strong individual?  If your concern is romance, think of this: if you are a strong individual, and you could do without your partner, you get to choose them every day.  You are not “stuck” together.  Your togetherness is a choice.

Which means that it is actually more romantic to keep your finances separate until you can trust that your partner will be as responsible with your money, as you are. Until then, build a Fuck-You-Fund (A fund of cash that you have access to that allows you to up and leave if you ever feel in danger), and give a fixed number of chances for your partner to come around to your goals.

Now, with that all out there, I need to be honest with you, that I can only say that my wife and I worked within these circumstances because she was lenient with a HIGH-NUMBER of fixed chances.  She was brave enough to do what I am asking of you, and she got a lot of grief for it.  She refused to marry me until my job offered medical insurance.  She was covered under her mother’s insurance at the time, and she was still in college. She was brave enough to put her goals out there and she made them an important part of OUR goals.  And if I had said, you should risk not having health insurance to be with me, I would expect her to step back, as I was not the right person for her. But that is not what happened, for a long time now, our relationship is based on us choosing each other, every day.

If you feel that your partner is not trustworthy with money, I strongly advise the following:

1)    Be honest and clear about your concerns.
It would sabotage your relationship to hold something this important as a barrier and not give your partner a chance to do something about it.
2)    Have a conversation about what each of you require of each other, as part of an agreement, before getting married.
3)    Be brave enough to step away, if your partner cannot hear your concerns.  It is unfortunately telling of many more things about the relationship.

Money is NOT more important that love, or people.  But when you are mixing your life with another person’s, your personal goals and long term well-being ARE more important than love, and other people.

When Love overrides your logical self-preserving fears, you are shackling yourself based on faith of… Your partner? What love should be? The idea of Marriage? You are being shackled by faith.

For this Valentine’s day, I challenge you to look deep into your partner’s eyes and say, “How are we doing on our retirement plan?”  Take some time to think about your own financial goals, where you would like to be, take responsibility for your own flaws, and talk about them with your partner.  Talk about your concerns for any flaws your partner has around money.  And together, move forward with a stronger feeling of togetherness by working to further your goals as a team. Give yourself the gift of choosing your partner every day.